I’ve been working really hard this week, and I’ve had trouble getting motivated to do anything else, including blogging. Today I did a little work in the kitchen, helped DH get the hurricane boxes together (2+ months after the season started; oy) and baked a blueberry pie.
I had a depressive episode last weekend that was pretty harsh, but I’ve come out of it OK, I guess.
I have begun the plotting stages of a blog about feminism. I have a couple of cobloggers signed up. We are going to start out with a review and discussion of some seminal feminist writings. Our first is Simone de Beauvoir’s The Second Sex. We’re going to read it in the original French. Ha! I glanced at it about 25 years ago and thought, “Gee, this is hard,” and put it back down. Maybe my brain is up to it now. I’ll put a link here once the first post goes up.
Two weeks ago I went to my 30 year high school reunion. It was a really neat experience for a number of reasons.
I have always (always) compared myself to others and come up lacking. There were always people who were smarter or prettier or thinner or more popular or more sensible or any number of things. This was particularly the case when I was young, and I’ve only started to get over it in the last few years. Going to the reunion helped a light bulb go off - we’re ALL older. I’m not the only one who has gray hair and and gained a lot of weight. Everybody has had ups and down over the last 30 years, and those of us who attended all seemed to have the same perspective: we’re here, we’re older, but we’re alive. Let’s party! All that high school sturm und drang was then. This is now. We’re grownups.
Another neat thing was seeing again some people who I was really close to - who I loved - and who I’ve lost track with over the years. Seeing them happy and successful was such a rush. Gordon is on his second career, teaching business at a Dallas high school. Joel is a minister in Buffalo.
And then there was Bettina. One of the main reasons I’ve put off writing this for so long was because I didn’t want this to be all schmaltzy and stuff, and I didn’t know how to write about connecting with Bettina again without going all squishy. Bettina and I were really, really good friends in 7th and 8th grade. Best friends, really. We passed notes in classes and did theatre stuff and ate lunch together and slept over at each others houses and spent hours on the phone. Hours. But I made a new friend the summer between 8th and 9th grade, and Bettina and I had a kind of falling out (over a boy, if I recall correctly) and we really weren’t friends much at all in high school. I have felt pretty crappy about that occasionally, because I wasn’t a very good friend to her. Kind of shallow and immature.
Leading up to the reunion, we found that we have a lot of things in common. We are both in very, very happy marriages after being divorced from (different) losers named Jeff. We are both feminists. We’ve both recovered from high school and regained our balance and become successful people. Far from envying her success, I celebrate it. I feel like it’s my success too. Not to take away from what she accomplished (which is quite a lot) but that I empathize with her journey and recognize her achievements and what it took to make them.
All these years later, I have my friend back. And I’ve forgiven myself for being shallow and immature when I was fourteen.
Answers to questions about Me! From the Birthday Boy, age 9 today. Happy birthday!
1. What is something mom always says to you? Clean your room.
2. What makes mom happy? Seeing her kids get good grades.
3. What makes mom sad? Pain.
4. How does your mom make you laugh? Tells funny jokes.
5. What was your mom like as a child? She wanted to be famous.
6. How old is your mom? Forty-eight.
7. How tall is your mom? She says she’s five foot six inches.
8. What is her favorite thing to do? Go on the computer.
9. What does your mom do when you’re not around? How would I know?
10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? Singing. (Ha! In my dreams!)
11. What is your mom really good at? Singing (what a kid. Big raise in allowance is on the way…)
12. What is your mom not very good at? Video games.
13. What does your mom do for her job? She works from home.
14. What is your mom’s favorite food? Chocolate brownies. (OK, I had to prompt him a little on this. Noodles? As if…)
15. What makes you proud of your mom? She’s a good cook.
16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be? Spongebob Squarepants.
17. What do you and your mom do together? Go to the pool.
18. How are you and your mom the same? We both chatter.
19. How are you and your mom different? I’m more into Bionicles than she is.
20. How do you know your mom loves you? Every payday she takes us to Sicily’s (pizza buffet).
It’s funny and dark and has great music. Neil Patrick Harris is amazing in it (as is Felicia Day). It’s a comic book set to music. It’s by Josh Whedon, the guy who did Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Acts I-III are available for free until tomorrow, then they’re supposed to go away. I bought them on iTunes, I liked them so much.
Years ago (literally), I posted about the Green Spaghetti recipe I got from “Just Tell Me What to Cook.” Ms. K. (see My Feed, #4) asked for the recipe and I NEVER POSTED IT. What kind of friend am I?
So, here it is.
1 lb. spaghetti
2 cups spinach
1 cup warm vegetable or chicken broth
1/2 cup milk
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
Cook spaghetti. While it’s cooking, steam the spinach just until wilted (I usually do this in the microwave.) Put in the blender. Add milk, broth and cheese. Blend until smooth.
When the spaghetti is done, toss with 1/2 stick of butter. Add sauce and toss until mixed well. Serve immediately with extra cheese and salt and pepper to taste.
Simple meme of 50 questions and answers. Here we go.
1. What do you add to your coffee? On the rare occasions when I drink coffee, it’s usually frozen with all kinds of stuff in it - soft serve ice cream, whipped cream, caramel, chocolate.
2. What are you reading now? Dance of the Dissident Daughter; Wicked; Stumbling on Happiness
3. Do you own a gun? No
4. Are you registered to vote? Yes
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? No
6. What do you think of hot dogs? Kind of gross in concept, but quick and cheap and they taste OK, so I’ll cook and eat them.
7. Favorite Christmas Song? I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Diet Mountain Dew
9. Can you do push ups? No
10. What was the name of your first boyfriend/girlfriend? Michael
11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelery? I don’t have much jewelry; my wedding ring.
12. Favorite hobby? reading the internet
13. Do you work with people who idolize you? No.
14. Do you have ADD? No.
15. What’s one trait that you hate about yourself? I don’t do hard things.
16. What’s your Middle name? Marie
17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment. I want to go back to bed. I hate Mondays. Please stop talking.
18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday. Shrimp, cream cheese, blueberries.
19. Name 3 beverages you regularly drink. Diet Mountain Dew, water, Diet Coke.
20. Current worry right now? Money.
21. What side do you dress to? I don’t understand this question.
22. Favorite place to be? in bed
23. How did you bring in the New Year? I slept.
24. Where would you like to go? Australia
25. Name three people who will complete this. Not a clue.
26. Whose answers do you want to read the most? VegasJoe
27. What color shirt are you wearing? I’m still in my pajamas; they are green and blue print.
28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? No.
29. Can you whistle? Some.
30. Favorite colors(s)? Green, purple, blue.
31. Could you be a pirate? No.
32. What songs do you sing in the shower? Whatever is stuck in my head.
33. Favorite girls name? Lillian
34. Favorite boy’s name? Peter
35. What’s in your pocket right now? Empty (see #27)
36. Last thing that made you laugh? I don’t remember.
37. Best bed sheets as a child? Yes.
38. Worst injury you’ve ever had? Car accident, scar above right eye.
39. Do you love where you live? No.
40. How many TVs do you have in your house? Two.
41. Who is your loudest friend? Me.
42. How many dogs do you have? None.
43. Does anyone have a crush on you? Um, no.
44. What are the most fun things you ever did? Sex and Bruce Springsteen concerts.
45. What are your favorite books? To Kill a Mockingbird.
46. What is your favorite candy? Chocolate!
47. Favorite Team? Meh.
48. What songs do you want played at your funeral? Swing Low, Sweet Chariot; Funeral for a Friend intro.
49. What were you doing at 12 AM? Talking with my husband in bed before going to sleep.
50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? Ugh. Also, why do I keep dreaming about Jack McCoy from Law & Order? In this particular dream, he was about to be eaten by a bear.
Matt at Addicted to Vinyl (a fun music-interest blog that I’ve added to my RSS feed) linked to a funny Bruce Springsteen parody video today. It’s called “Do Your Job.” I laughed really hard when I was watching it this morning…when I should have been working. Bad Ann. In shallow imitation of VegasJoe’s Video Monday, it’s at the end of this post.
During the first verse:
“They don’t want to do their jobs
They just want their check.
They wanna show up, stand around, and then collect.”
I thought about how much standing around chatting there is when I go work in the office.
Matt was impressed with the lead in to the chorus:
“From the hot dog man to the grocery clerk
I’m the boss…get back to work.”
A little over six months ago, my friend Peggy died. I don’t often cry when I think of it any more, but occasionally I will come across something that so reminds me of Peggy that I yearn for her.
Today I read a poem by Mary Oliver. Peggy loved poetry, and Mary Oliver was one of her favorites. I still have two Oliver poems Peggy thought might bring me comfort and insight in my important papers file. This poem reminded me so much of her, I want to put it here so I don’t lose it.
At Blackwater Pond
Every year
everything
I have ever learned
in my lifetime
leads back to this: the fires
and the black river of loss
whose other side
is salvation,
whose meaning
none of us will ever know.
To live in this world
you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal,
to hold it
against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it,
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.
My mother-in-law gave me an amaryllis kit for Christmas two years ago. I never planted it (I’m such a procrastinator). My husband pulled it out and planted the bulbs about three or four weeks ago. They really didn’t do much for a while, and then suddenly, poof! Leaves! Giant leaves, three inches wide and eighteen inches long!
However, some research indicates that they should have flowered first, if they were going to flower. Since they didn’t, we can only assume that they are developing leaves prior to flowering NEXT year. We are also off of their normal cycle, so that may be part of the problem.
We are going to let them continue to grow, bring them indoors in October, and let the leaves yellow, wither and die. Then, about six to eight weeks later, we’ll pull the bulbs out of their dark, cool storage place (anybody know such a place in Louisiana? Maybe we should just leave them outdoors…) and try again.
Blooming amaryllis are beautiful, so I think it’ll be worth the wait.
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