Today while I was working, I listened to Pandora. For only the second time ever, I heard the song “Is Your Love in Vain?” by Bob Dylan. I love this song. Love it, love it, love it. The melody is simple, catchy, and sticky - I’ll be humming this song for days. The lyrics are cynical, hopeful, yearning…a gauntlet thrown to the “you” Dylan sings to.
My feminist side was appalled by the last phrase, “Can you cook and sew, make flowers grow, can you understand my pain?” That phrase isn’t enough to turn me off of the song. It’s the only piece of the song that I see as sexist - the rest is gender neutral and could be a woman singing as well as a man. Heck, it’s the 21st century - even with that couplet, the song could STILL be a woman singing to a man. Or to a woman, for that matter. Or a man to a man. No hetero bias here!
What will happen to me if I fall in love with you? What’s in it for me? Will you hold up your end?
“I’ve been burned before and I know the score…” Stealing from one of the reviews I just read, the song makes explicit the silent negotiation that happens when contemplating a new relationship.
Are you willing to risk it all?
I can cook and sew and make tomatoes grow (working on flowers). I celebrate how those last Dylan lyrics within the song are said in loving, committed relationships between women. We all have our gifts and strengths. I love the last question for the ability to see another’s pain.