Archive for October, 2004

I’m worried about starting this new job

Published on October 30, 2004 in Miscellany. 4 Comments

I really, really need to go back to work. We need the money. My wise father told me once, “People work for three reasons, Ann Marie. For the money, for the money, and for the money.”

I’ve been depressed now for a few months. And I’m really, really nervous about going back to the grind. Part of me thinks it’ll be fine. I’m a tough cookie. I’ll suck it up and do what needs to be done. But another part of me thinks that I just don’t have another commitment in me; that I just don’t have anything to give to another obligation.

I’m going to try to think positive, and keep taking my meds. I’ll try to be hopeful about enjoying the work, and meeting new people, and getting some certifications and building a career. And the money. And the money. And don’t forget the money.

What Bruce Means to Me

Published on October 29, 2004 in Miscellany. 1 Comment

Julia from Folk of the Fringe pointed me to an article about Bruce Springsteen on the website Killing the Buddha that captured what Bruce Springsteen means to his fans.

I’ve been a fan of Bruce since 1981, when I saw him in Cincinnati on The River tour. That show was not my first rock concert, but it changed how I saw rock and roll. I was converted. I bought albums, I found other fans, I bought a 5×5 tacky silk-screen wall hanging and it became the only artwork in the living room in my small, rundown apartment.

Bruce went on a hiatus of sorts in the early 90’s. He fired his band. He made two albums with some excellent material that he released simultaneously in 1992, and then, in his words, “lost his rock voice.” He released a folk album, “The Ghost of Tom Joad,” in 1995. He didn’t release any new material for seven years. He did a reunion tour with the E Street Band in 2000, and in 2002 released The Rising, his response to the September 11 attacks and arguably his finest work.

When Bruce started touring on The Rising, I went a little nuts. I saw him in Houston with my daughter, and followed the tour news in the discussion boards on the web site. Life had changed a lot for me since the last time Bruce had released new material and mounted such a major tour. I was married now. I had a little boy. But somehow, I got it into my head that I could just follow him around. All those other people did!

Unfortunately, Bruce is not The Grateful Dead. One can not earn a living selling falafel from a tent following Bruce Springsteen around the country. Somehow, between my husband’s bewilderment at my ideas (”Gee, you really like this guy, don’t you?”) and a reality check from, of all places, a talk at church, I came back down to earth. I only saw The Rising tour one more time, at PNC Park in Pittsburgh, when I was on vacation with the family. I spent far too much money on a great seat less than 10 yards from the stage. It was a great show, but when it was over, I was exhausted, and all desire to devote my life to following Bruce around the country was gone.

I still enjoy opportunities to see Bruce for free. The Vote For Change concert two weeks ago (rebroadcast tomorrow night, don’t miss it!) and the video feeds of the Kerry performances (two of them!) yesterday were really great. And if he tours again, I will buy tickets, if I can, and I will love the show, and it will be, again, a transcending experience.

Watching a John Kerry Speech

Published on October 28, 2004 in Miscellany. 1 Comment

I’m watching a John Kerry rally, live on the internet, from Madison, WI. Not because I’m such a committed follower (though he is my choice for President of the United States) but because Bruce Springsteen is singing. Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters just finished. Bruce is next. Then the Candidate will speak.

I don’t know if I’ll stick around for the Candidate. OK, maybe. The video quality sucks, and the sound isn’t very good. But it’s Bruce. Bee-yoo-tee-ful Bee-yoo-tee-ful Bruce. I will blog again or comment with a short synopsis. That is, if I can get my connection back which I just lost…

It took a long time of watching crowd shots and listening to classic rock, but at about 12:45 The Hero came out, accompanied by Wisconsin’s Governor Doyle. Doyle introduced Bruce, composing his speech out of Bruce Springsteen song titles. After he introduced the Hero, Bruce said “Now I’ve heard everything. I don’t think he’ll be my opening act again.”

Bruce sang The Promised Land, which has some really appropriate lyrics. Then he gave one of his PSA’s. It was wonderful. He spoke of authentic and deeper patriotism, and returning the values and ideals that made the American dream worth dreaming. He quote Minnesota Senator Paul Wellstone: “The future is for the passionate,” and told the audience that the future is now, so let our passion shine through. Then he sang “No Surrender,” for “John.”

I want to sleep beneath peaceful skies in my lover’s bed,

With a wide open country in my heart

And these romantic dreams in my head.

We made a promise we swore we’d always remember,

No retreat, baby, no surrender.

Then he introduced the “next President of the United States, John Kerry,” and the Senator came out to the album cut of “No Surrender.” The two men warmly embraced, in a thoroughly manly way, shook hands, and Bruce went offstage.

It was awesome. I have some introspection about this that I’ll put up later today.

I Got the Job

Published on October 27, 2004 in Miscellany. 4 Comments

Yay me! I start on Monday. Child care is all arranged for the little boy. I’m Back on the Chain Gang…

Procrastinating

Published on October 26, 2004 in Miscellany. 2 Comments

I’m a world class procrastinator. I will spend hours blowing off tasks that take minutes to complete. And all that time, of course, I feel guilty about it.

I have to constantly remind myself that there is great reward in things being done. Past tense. I am not a process person. I am results oriented. I don’t need to watch the game; just tell me the score when it’s over.

Three times in the last eight months, my MD has given me paperwork to go have lab work done. I had a glucose tolerance test about ten months ago, through a different MD, and assumed that this series of orders included the same thing. Glucose tolerance tests take a long time. And you can’t eat until you’re all done. But this morning, I was up early, so I decided to bite the bullet. I was going to endure the process and get that paperwork out of my life. Put it in the past tense.

I didn’t need a glucose tolerance test. Fifteen minutes, five vials of blood, and I was all done.

I wasted so much energy blowing this off! At least, now, it’s done.

Go Sox!

Published on October 23, 2004 in Miscellany. 2 Comments

DH predicts a four-game sweep. I think he’s just hoping this so he can get something done this week besides watch baseball…

Interview Today

Published on October 20, 2004 in Miscellany. 9 Comments

I had an interview today with a Big Regional Bank. It went very well, and I have a second interview in the a.m. It’s for a level 1 help desk job; the type of work where I can step in and be productive immediately. The pay is very good. The benefits are top notch.

I am trying really, really hard not to get my hopes up.

What could make you change your mind?

Published on October 17, 2004 in Miscellany. 7 Comments

Trailseeker blogged about voting by mail, and how he’s glad he got his voting done. He mentioned several local and statewide issues that are in the air. I commented that one potential problem with early voting is that Stuff Happens. If Significant Stuff happened between now and Election Day, an early ballot has already been cast, and can’t be uncast.

I was going to ask on his blog, but decided instead to ask on mine: is there a Big Thing that could happen that would change your mind about your vote for President? What sort of thing? Would it have to be a scandel, or would a big event do?

I don’t think I would change my mind because of a big event, like a terrorist attack or a lot of new casualties in Iraq. However, if my candidate of choice was involved in something scandalous, that would prevent him from doing the job if he were elected (think Nixon and Watergate, or Bill and Monica) I would probably not vote for president.

I sure as heck wouldn’t vote for the other guy.

I hate the playoffs

Published on October 16, 2004 in Miscellany. 2 Comments

I hate the baseball playoffs. Hate them, hate them, hate them.

My DH is a diehard Yankee hater. If he ever had to choose between his team (the Baltimore Orioles) winning, or the Yankees losing, he would probably choose the latter. He is also a diehard baseball fan. Playoff season, every year that we’ve been married, is excruciating. When the Yankees are in the playoffs (as they have been every year for the last eight years) he watches, and fumes and gripes when they win. Only when the Yankees are out is baseball any fun at our house.

Minnesota couldn’t put them away this year, and now it looks like Boston’s not going to do it either. Which means we’re going to be watching yet another World Series with the Yankees, rooting for whoever is the National League champ, stressed out and anxious until it’s all over.

It doesn’t help that I grew up in a household where everybody lived and died through the fall based on how the Buckeyes were doing. And now, the Bucks have lost three in a row.

I can’t wait for November.

Family Game Night

Published on October 15, 2004 in Miscellany. 7 Comments

Tonight, the PTA at Little Boy’s school had a Family Game Night fund raiser. The gym was open with activity games for the kids, pizzas were $6 each, drinks for a quarter. We brought a board game (Candy Land) and all played together after we ate. Then we went over to the gym and Little Boy played a game that looked very fun, but seemed not to have much point. Oh well, it got the kids moving.

I took Little Boy to the MD today. She filled out the state-required form to dispense Rx meds, and wrote a prescription for an OTC drug (Benadryl). I am to take the meds and the form to the school, and if little boy gets another ant bite, they are to give him a Benadryl, then call me. I am also going to have to take him to an allergist for more testing. She thinks the rash was an allergic reaction to the ant bites, but because it wasn’t a full systemic response (no shortness of breath or anything like that) he is not at this time a good candidate for desensitizing. Further tests will determine if he actually IS a candidate for densensitizing. She said he may also need to have an epi-pen.

He really liked the doctor. The office was kind of old, but the paint was cheerful and very kid-oriented. Lots of free-form paintings of African animals on the wall, along with multiple stencils of the alphabet. And he got stickers, which is always very cool.