I came out of my most recent depressive episode, sort of, during the recent Hurricane Ivan activities. I was just too worried and apprehensive and busy to have the luxury of being depressed. The first day or more after getting back, I was in a mild state of euphoria brought about by the relief of finding my house intact, my kitchen clean, water and power available, and the air conditioning in working order. Whew!
But now that’s worn off, and I’m back where I was a week ago. That is, with lots of negative scripts running through my head, and wishing I was dead.
I had an appointment with a therapist scheduled for last Thursday, but I cancelled it because I was evacuating. I will try to reschedule something for as soon as I can.
Efforts at positive thinking and self-exhortations to “snap out of it, woman” have been fruitless. I’m sure this is mostly situational, but I can’t see the situation changing unless I can get over this sense of hopelessness. Hopefully a few weeks of talk therapy (and maybe some meds) will help.
I hear you Banana. I’m doing my own quicksand dance with the black hole of depression myself.
Well,sheesh make that three of us. I say, Let’s Dance, Sisters!!!!! I try to explain these feelings to hubby but he doesn’t get it. He’s never had depression. I try to explain the difference between being suicidal and losing the will to live. I am losing the will.
Nanna, I am so sorry you are fighting this right now. Being the Queen of Unsolicited Advice - we need you! No one can take your place. Jo pulls out her mighty sword and circles Nanna, Ms Chevious and Ciara join in each with their own powerful swords. Of course Ms.C has damaged titties and jo is blonde and Ciara, well she comes with her own baggage, too, but dang it Nanna, our baggage gave us the ability to have swords. Now we must use them. Ready, girls? (yeah, I know, I know…if only it were that easy, heavy sigh) ((((Nanna)))
Ugh…how bad I am. Once I read your entry and the comments, I immediately thought “yeah, but I’m even more depressed.” I hate the way it totally screws with my thought processes. I have to find a way to deal with it better.
The only consolation I can offer is that this too shall pass. We are all here for you, Ann. Even if we aren’t necessarily the perkiest people.
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