I grew up in a house where Mom got a job once we were all in school, and where Dad did the laundry. I like doing laundry. It’s an easy job. Folding clothes is something I can do on auto-pilot, and everything smells clean and feels soft coming out of the dryer. Maybe that’s why Dad liked doing it, too. He could do it while he watched football or golf or basketball or whatever season it was on TV.
I like doing dishes and scrubbing pots and pans when I’m upset about something. Suds, hot water, stainless steel and a scotch pad, all brought together in a flurry of activity while I think think think about why I’m upset and how to resolve it.
I cut the front yard today, and I think DH may have thought that I thought that he should be doing it. Not the case at all…he’s gonna do the back, which is bigger but out of sight.
DH is very good about home repair. Before we got married, my MIL told me, “(DH) likes to do things that have value. He isn’t at all interested in chores that just need to be done again, but he likes doing things that won’t need to be done again. Also, he isn’t very good about doing things promptly. He does them when he gets around to them.” This was very useful advice, because I grew up with a father who, when he wanted something done, wanted it done NOW. As a result of this conversation with my MIL, DH and I were able to avoid some early misunderstandings. I told him, “I won’t often ask you to do something. But when I do, it contains an implied NOW at the end.”
Do many of you divide your home maintenance and upkeep and day-to-day chores into “men’s work” and “women’s work”? I wouldn’t think about installing shelves or an attic fan, because DH enjoys that kind of work. OTOH, I don’t think there’s any housework he won’t do…but there’s some that he doesn’t do unless asked.
In the yard, I run the grass and she runs the flower gardens that rim the yards. The boundary between them is kind of a DMZ, patrolled by me and the weedwhacker. Any flowers try to trespass onto my grass, either the mower (which sometimes runs a preemptive strike a few inches into the garden) gets them or the whacker cleans up a few minutes later. Sometimes this creates tension (she has a soft spot for those errant flowers) but I figure a simple rule is the best rule.
Hey, there’s someone else here posing as me!! (Ann, are you seeing another Dave behind my back? Could this be Dave of Mormon Inquiry fame?) Anyway…
This is braindead Dave (I feel the need to distinguish myself now…)
My wife is outside mowing the lawn as we speak. As you could guess from my last post, mowing the lawn isn’t my favorite thing to do, and DW doesn’t mind it at all. It seems to be quite the issue with the neighbors that she usually does it, for some reason, but they can mind their own business as far as I’m concerned.
I like cleaning the house on the weekends when my wife is working. The only jobs that we never have any crossover on are things like dusting and such: jobs I just don’t see as much value in as she does. Certain maintenance tasks are mine, and if there’s a bug in the house that needs to be evicted, I could be in a two year coma and that job will still be waiting for me for when I’m available. Otherwise, we share most tasks, even though one of us usually is the person who does most things by default, depending on the job.
my mom always had a job, so i’m used to having dad do lots of stuff around the house. i don’t mind doing laundry (although i hate putting things on hangers. folding i don’t mind). ben loves to cook, and i don’t, so that works out well. i don’t mind doing yardwork, even mowing, but i’m no good at weedeating, i think i’m just too short to use the thing comfortably. we don’t have a yard right now, but when we do, i’ll probably be the one taking care of it. i don’t mind. i like doing things outdorrs. ben is great with taking care of the pets, giving ian baths, i take out most of the trash, and do the vaccuming and clean the bathrooms.
i think things are relativly well distributed at our household. i stay home right now, and ben works so i do more around the house. that seems reasonable to me. soon i will be working as well, and he will end up doing more around the house. the other thing to consider is i am much more bothered by a dirty house than he is, so i tend to pick things up before it gets to the point where he would notice and clean. but if i ask him to help, he is almost always willing to do so.
Loved the description of the DMZ, Dave. Nobody in this house really likes any kind of housework, but if we didn’t keep up with at least some things, we’d lose the little boy, y’know?
With both of us working we just do what needs to be done. I usually insist on doing the mowing…It’s a great workout and I like physical labor. I let hubby hang the shelves, etc but I am always there helping because I find it interesting. Hubby is great with laundry and the kitchen. I can change the oil in the car but hubby does it cuz he likes doing it. I don’t have any problems digging fence post holes or anything like that. I like it.
I do know some couples where both work but the chores are divided and genderized (is that a word? lol) Which means the wife is doing the housework and the hubby does the manly things as needed. Seems unbalanced to me.
Mary does the in-house jobs like cleaning, washing floors, laundry, dishes, cooking, etc. I occasionally help her out in some of these, and often Sunday supper is done by me.
I do virtually all the mowing, tree trimming and gardening. I also do the repairs on the truck and any house repairs. I also do the snow shovelling; although, Mary does that a fair amount if I am at work when we get a dump of snow.
The division of labour has come because of our schedules. Most of the work Mary does is done while I am at work. As well, I don’t like the work she does and she doesn’t like the work I do.
We’re a mix. But, if my spouse happens to close in on my car’s particulars I’ll automatically go into a sports time-out signal. I possess the don’t touch my car gene. Otherwise we work well together.
Replacing a kitchen garbage disposal as a couple implies our union works well. That is not a joke. It happened.
Knowing when to toss out head and thought stuff no longer worth keeping in a relationship is something we do well. A manly man role and a little womanly role don’t fit our script. It’s not that we wrote a perfect script for this marriage because we wrote our own before meeting. Editing is good.
Enough about us, our independent film: what was your question?
My wife washed the car today while I was posting a blog and logging into geocaching. We did yardwork together although I tend to do it more often. I vacuum when she reminds me. She does the laundry. I do more of the planned meals, but she’s much better at tossing things together at the last minute.